Tuesday, 1 April 2014

On Death and Dying

Yesterday I found out that a soul that had been a very important part of my life passed away doing what she loved.  It was a shock and it stung, but I carried on with my day of clients, knowing that I would grieve throughout, and that messages from Spirit would help soothe me along the way.

I am a firm believer that in certain situations, "the show must go on".  This soul brought so much laughter and friendship into my life, that the thought of not being able to interact with her on Facebook anymore and see her adventures left my heart in a bit of a broken space.  We shared a time in my life where "balls to the wall" applied and I found myself hurtling out of an airplane with a parachute on my back............82 TIMES!  She and one other welcomed me with open arms (Thanks Hoobajoob!) into a male dominated sport.  We shared good times, we shared crazy times, and her moving onto the world of coaching in Skydiving reached so many others.

Her Facebook page lit up with pictures and stories and heartfelt prayers and condolences from all over the world, that's how far her reach was!

Enter Super Soul Sunday with Oprah and Mr. Gary Zukav.

During this Super Soul session, Oprah highlighted moments in her 25 years of working with Gary Zukav, and one moment stood out and made me cry so hard in recognition of something I believe to be vitally important in all the grieving we could ever do on this planet.  It was a shift.  And there is ALWAYS a gift in any shift that we make that sits at the seat of our soul.

In this highlight, Oprah shared a moment on television some time ago where she and Mr. Zukav were conversing with a family where twins entered the world, and one twin left after 48 hours of life.  Their grief was overwhelming.  And, I must insert here that everyone grieves differently, that there is no "right or wrong" to grief, but that I believe there comes a time and place to settle a loss into a different heartspace in our soul.  Losing a child does not feel natural.  Whether we have had two months in utero or 10 years in the world, it sucks, and there is no two ways about it.

However, Mr. Zukav brought a different view to death of anyone, including children, that may help to change any of our approaches to grief at any moment.  Our souls have a contract (which I have always stated and believed).  We never know when that contract ends or how.  But what we would hope to remember when we are ready, is to know that their time on this planet was a gift.  They took the time to be with us, for whatever length was written into their soul chart, and then they had to leave the physical world.  In their journey lies all sorts of gifts.  Gifts to live more, laugh more, and love even harder while we are here on this planet.

Our goal, I feel (my opinion only), is to truly get to a spot where we can say thank you for all that you gifted me and not be so tortured by the loss.  It is not to say the sting doesn't  show up once in awhile, or that tears will never be shed again, but it is about recognizing all that the soul gifted us, and that they merely changed form.  They truly never leave us.  And, given the work that I do, I know that to be absolute truth in my life.

So, enter a space today, where the shock has worn off a little bit more, the grief feels a little less.  All because of the words of Gary Zukav.  And I am grateful.

My friend, like any of us, had a contract.  Her contract ended exactly when it was supposed to and, when the physical space of loss decreases (and for some even now), anyone attached to this soul's life are going to recognize the gifts she left the world.

And yes, I shift in my grieving process a bit faster than others because of the work I do, and it's not to say I am not going to cry for myself and even more so for others that were extremely close to her in this stage of her life, but Mr. Zukav's words around the gifts received from others while here, were almost an instant shift for me.

This person left me gifts, and here is what they are at this stage of the game:

1)  This life is meant to be lived to the fullest.

2)  Death of the physical shell makes me appreciate my life even more.  I could not be here and I am.  And for that I am grateful.

3)  That people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime, and each of them challenges us to grow, to love, and engage in meaningful conversation and learn valuable lessons.

4)  Whether we are two minutes old or 102 we have been given the gift of coming down to this school called life, and every opportunity (easy or hard) has beautiful moments.

5)  Smiles are infectious, and a kind word soothing.  My friend always had a kind word and infectious smile that made so many feel welcome. (And it would come as 'no coincidence' that "Smile" is playing in the background as I write this....."smile though your heart is breaking....smile when.......")

6)  Love the life you life.  And if you don't................change it!

7)  Be the person you wish to see in the world.

The space of losing someone isn't easy.  It hurts.  But that hurt can be temporary (2 minutes, 5 years) IF you allow it to shift.

I can tell you from the work that I do, that our loved ones do not want us needlessly suffering from the loss of someone.  In fact, they want us to live for them.  They want us to be happy, they want us to absolve ourselves of the "shoulda, woulda, couldas", and they truly do want us to live, live, LIVE!  For in those moments, they are right along side us going, "Hell Yeah!".

They want us to go on and live for others in our lives and more importantly ourselves!  We have the right to a good life and soulful living.  Death is part of life and it teaches us so much!  To love harder, walk through doors of opportunity, and to live a life that suits us best!

Allow those we lose to give us the gifts they wish for us to receive! (as per Gary Zukav)

Live happy!
Play hard!
Leave doing what you love!

This life is meant to be lived!  So get out there and live it!  And, in that moment, know that your loved ones in Spirit are right there with you, enjoying every moment you choose to embrace!

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