Sometimes certain people in our lives are there forever, whether we like it or not. So what do we do when the person is irrevocably woven into our timeline. We try to spin it. And Lordy is this person posing a challenge.
Not that long ago I had a dream about this specific person and it involved running from an erupting volcano and landing on a safe piece of land with said person. Needless to say, within the dream we wound up in a screaming match and I "won". While I believe nobody truly wins when we explode, sometimes these things happen to clear the air. And boy is there a lot of air to clear with this particular person.
Not long ago I posted on Facebook a post that stated, "Thank you to all the difficult people in my life. They have shown me how I do not wish to be." And truly, the person I refer to is one of THE most toxic beings I have ever encountered. She is two-faced, malicious, downright vindictive, and presents as the most loving person in the world. (Please note, this is my experience of her, NOT my opinion, and there is a difference).
She is here for me to learn from, for until the day she dies she will be forever entwined. God knows I am trying to spin it, but good grief, this person brings out the worst in me. And she will pose as the biggest challenge in my interpersonal life I will ever have to be involved with.
I do believe that sometimes we do have to get mad, I truly do. I know I have been the sword of truth and I do try to do it in a loving way, but it isn't always easy. We humans are here to experience and manage our emotions. And we are asked to do it from a Higher Perspective, but again, it ISN'T always easy.
So, along comes Mrs. Spider, injecting her venom into me, causing great irritation. The reminder to be the change I wish to see in the world. The bite is annoying. Itchy and swollen, downright a bother. Just like this person. So, I have to be patient with myself, nurse this thing away, and learn to adjust my thinking once again, to not be "bothered" by the irritation of this other person so woven into my life.
We all have them. Challenging people present in our lives and forever woven, but how do we rise above them. I try to take pity on her for her life is a mess because of how she has behaved. But at some point, we as adults must learn to take responsibility for what is happening in our lives and learn to do it better. My journey has been one of growing into Peace and Love. And maybe this blog is my way of trying to work the spin in while sharing the experience for others to hopefully learn or relate to.
When spiders weave, they weave in a pattern that is symmetrical and aligned. It serves to trap sustenance so the spider can live. And maybe that's it. This person lives as a constant reminder of who I never wish to be and some of what I once was. Toxic. It is never easy to look in a mirror that once reflected the same thing. Especially when one continually learns from and releases those particular behaviors and patterns. But how do I nourish myself through this lifetime of involvement.
Being human isn't easy. Like they say, "Life is easy, it's the living that's hard." Even though it really isn't that hard. It can just be challenging, and I love rising to the challenge. So, what am I continually being reminded of. Who I never wish to be. Her soul should serve as food to my soul that I am forever nourished in faith and love and hope. I am a changed person, and I continually change as I weave myself higher and higher in my soulvolution.
She is the constant reminder of just how far I have come. And I am grateful. For the stuff that gets brought up is stuff I am able to have released. For it no longer serves a purpose. Iyanla van Zant always asks the other person to allow themselve to "bubble up" the emotions and let them pour. For in pouring we release, and in releasing there is healing.
So I say bring on the bubbles and thank you to both the spiders who are in my life. The one that bit me and the one that spews venom. For in both, there is healing. My healing. I will continue to weave my web of life in beautiful patterns and spiritually aligned. And it is moments like these that help me in doing so.
So once again I say thank you. Thank you to the spiders and their venom. They are continual reminders of who I never wish to be. And with that my soul once again feels replenished. For in releasing this story, I have spun my web into new alignment.
And I am grateful.