Thank goodness Mercury has left us until June. As stated in earlier blogs, it was an extremely trying time for me.
However, during that time, I held fast to "Something good is going to happen through this experience. I feel it". And, I now know and have come to experience exactly what it is.
It came with a "price", and one I would willingly accept again. For the price was easy to pay. I call it "I Surrender".
You see, I firmly believe we all receive a Soul Chart (Contract) while we are over There, before we come over Here. Within that Soul Chart lies a map or course to our life. Who we are, who we are born to, our friends, family, etc. We are given our entry date, our final exit date, and maybe a few close calls along the way. I also firmly believe we are given a Main Mission. It is our main calling, our act of service to others upon this planet.
As I have mentioned before, my most recent brush with death came in 2010 when I almost died from choking on a candy. That candy actually saved my life. For in that moment of recognizing I was about to die, the thought that prevailed was, "I can't die, I have too much work to do and too many people to take care of". That thought propelled me into performing the Heimlich Maneuver on myself as I was on the way down to the floor passing out on my way to dying. It only takes four minutes to die from choking. And, if you ever find yourself in the need to save yourself, just put your fists stacked one on top of the other just below your sternum (where your ribs meet at stomach level) and let your weight do the work. This incident truly saved my life. For it was then that I made the choice to live out loud, no longer in denial of who I am and what I am able to do.
I firmly put one foot in front of the other and started my business as a Psychic Medium. I had been doing it quietly for too long, and to deny it was to deny myself. My life shifted in that moment, and I cannot tell you how amazing it feels to be free of the shackles of denial. I don't care what anyone thinks about what I am able to do, I know my truth, and I am forever changed in the most amazing way because of it.
However, the past few weeks found me experiencing the highs and lows of being a Psychic and almost found me in a place of throwing in the towel on the whole deal. Until I found myself a crumpled mess, sobbing on the floor early on a Monday morning.
It was in that moment that I turned my fists to the sky and said, "WHAT??!!! What am I not getting? Is there something I still haven't figured out yet? You had better start showing me because my soul can't take this much more!"
Then, after dusting myself off from the bunnies I collected from my not so clean hardwood floors, I moved over to a chair and just sat. Drying my eyes, picking up the pieces, and waiting. Knowing that if I took this next phase to be still, the answers would arrive.
And then it hit me, a loud voice inside my head. One word. That's all it was.
Surrender? What was I supposed to surrender? What do you mean surrender?
Bzzzzzzt. The lightning bolt struck. AHA!!!!
We have all heard teachings about surrendering to "His will". And, while I believe that there is no gender assigned to Creator, it all began to sink in.
I have a Soul Chart. That Soul Chart says when and where anything is supposed to happen in my life. We are able to sense snippets of our charts, but I feel there is only one place that knows the entire timing of that Chart. Over There. NOT over HERE. We are not supposed to know it all. That would take away from the joyous space called life. Ours is to trust our feelings and follow them. We are to show our intent with our passion or calling we feel deep down inside, and then let our Chart do the rest.
So here I was, the past few years pushing and fighting, kicking and screaming, to get my business up and running to its fullest potential. It had been extremely quiet in January and February (typical of alot of business - post-Christmas bills), and it really made me begin to wonder. The thought of not being able to do this for the rest of my days killed me. It is like a part of my soul withers at the thought.
And there's where "surrender" comes in. It is up to us to put our best foot forward on this planet, and to follow the yearnings of our heart. We must make commitments in order for our Team to open doors and help us along the way, but our schedule is just that OUR schedule.
Well, while we might be on our schedule, we truly are on something else's schedule. Our Soul Chart is that schedule. Within our Soul Chart lies exactly when "great things" will happen with respect to our calling. It isn't MY schedule, it is the Chart's. It is THE plan. It is our course. And it is written within the page(s).
Upon realizing this, I felt myself bowing down as it were, literally putting my hands up in the air and stating, "I surrender. I surrender to Your plan. I surrender to my Soul Chart. I have faith that my dreams are and will come true and that it is NOT on my time schedule, it is on yours."
Within that moment one of the hugest releases occurred that I have ever encountered in my life (even bigger than "releasing" my dad). My faith had been properly placed where it belonged. In the hands of another as it were.
You see, it is all that is required of us. This "surrrender". For it is in that moment that one can realize that our faith is unaltered and we have shifted into a moment of nothing but complete and utter faith. That as long as we keep putting one foot in front of another, following our dreams, our wishes, our hopes, anything we could have ever asked for and more is about to land in our laps.
To surrender means to give ourselves over, knowing that we are in good hands and that, at the appropriate time, anything we wish for will happen. Creator knows our heart, Creator knows what is written in our Chart. All we are asked to do is have Faith. It is the one thing that will help us surrender to the will of our Chart and to a Higher Power.
And, if we are patient and reminder ourselves that everything happens at its appointed time, doors will open like we couldn't possibly have imagined.
I've seen it already. And I am awe-struck. All because of two little words with the biggest commitment in my life.
And I am grateful for my most valuable lesson. I have shifted like I have never shifted before, and the doors that keep opening in front of me are AMAZING!
So, say it with me, say it with all of your heart, and allow what is taking place to take place. Even if you feel like "nothing" is taking place. Because that "nothing" is actually "something". You are being prepared, getting ready as it were, to activate your Soul Chart and lead a truly amazing life.